Oscars: Preamble

Oscars bingo
Image via brit.co

This year’s live! Exclusive! realtime! (where realtime = seconds or minutes behind the official broadcast!) Oscars commentary is brought to you by seasoned regulars Laura Morgan and Victor Field, plus a mysterious cabal of shadowy individuals known as MarvMarsh, Clio and veal. Join us here from 11ish tonight for insightful, incisive (and other “i” words) observations from the red carpet, the ceremony and the internet at large. In the meantime, meet your hosts…

Laura Morgan is gainfully unemployed, has made her own set of Oscar predictions over at gladallover.net, and may become diverted from Oscars coverage because she is currently in charge of a two-year-old and a large dog. Victor Field is 44, unattached and unlooking, has about 2000 soundtrack albums and wishes Quentin Tarantino would bother to commission his own film music instead of using other people’s, the lazy little fucker.

MarvMarsh is a fan of all Brad Pitt’s different hair cuts and won’t have it that he (Brad, not Marv) is botching being the most beautiful man in the world. Clio is a longtime connoisseur of Oscar subtleties and absurdities, who still thinks that Judy Garland was
robbed of Best Actress in 1955. Veal is so mysterious that we don’t even know enough about her to give her a bio.

As is MostlyFilm tradition (well, we’ve done it twice, and we’re only three years old) we are playing Oscars bingo. This year we will be awarding points for each of the following:

  • Cate is asked about or mentions Woody Allen
  • Anybody (including himself) makes fun of Alfonso Cuarón’s English or accent.
  • The Samuel L. Jackson Memorial Really Bad Loser Award
  • An earnest Hollywood reminder that slavery is a Bad Thing
  • A woman other than Ellen Degeneres in trousers
  • An embarrassingly inappropriate acting nomination clip
  • The orchestra kicks in mid-speech. Bonus points for anyone actually managing to silence the orchestra à la Julia Roberts
  • MrsMarv, who is approximately 40 weeks pregnant, goes into labour

Exciting times! See you back here later. Bring popcorn.

1 thought on “Oscars: Preamble

  1. For a moment I thought that said that Clio was a connoisseur of Oscar subtitles, which would make an awesome blog.

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