Homepage Invasion

The MostlyFilm backroom is dragged to the foreground for a sort of “Best of the boards” post. Buckle up.

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We don’t say this enough, but MostlyFilm dot com is built on a messageboard, the early-00s equivalent of social media. Blog posts could be considered extended posts on the boards. But what about those posts that stay on the board – too short, too pithy, too unfinished? Aren’t they worth reading? Damn right they are, so here is a vulture’s eye view of some of the rich carrion to be found – in this case, from a single thread, “The Last Film You Saw”. This thread is essentially where regulars pitch up after a trip to the cinema/watching Netflix in their pants give their first thoughts or capsule reviews. I’ll be using usernames, but you will know a lot of the authors from posts right here on MostlyFilm.

BunnyLake on Citizen Kane I know everyone thinks ‘ah, it was good but I didn’t get excited or feel moved’ first time they see it. Me too. But over the years…

It does seem to gain something, or at least reveal something else every-time I see it though (this time, how sad the party scene with the dancers is, how it’s the start of everything going wrong, the first hints of corruption of Kane and his friendship with Jed). I know the idea of a film getting better when you see it again is nothing knew but… it’s unusual that film that seems to unsubtle does. It’s got all these flash tricks; the acting is good but it’s a load of character turns; all this hoopla and ballyhoo – it almost rattles along, moves up and down like a series of sketches on variety bill or a revue. Ever so often something seems to go pop or flash as if to distract you. And much of the sadness is supposed to come from the fracturing relationships you scarcely have time to care about. There’s nowhere to hide any hidden depths. But somehow, I care about it and the people in it, in ways I just didn’t or couldnt the first time. Not just because of Orson.

NiallAnderson on Anomalisa – You know the opposite of the holocaust? Well this is the opposite of that. An absolute fucktruck of a film; a complete tofu dildo; a solid gold cancerous gonad of a film.

Wow, feel pretty sad right now. Might make a film about that.
Wow, feel pretty sad right now. Might make a film about that.

Charisse on Charlie Brown & Snoopy/The Peanuts Movie. This was weird. It was never outright bad. It was all done very well. The characterisation was good. It hit all the key plot bits. Snoopy dance. Red Baron. Comedy pratfalls. But my god it was dull. It just went on, nicely, sweetly, nothing fucking happening.

The nearly 5 year old who is traumatised by all films loved it. First film she hasn’t climbed on my lap at some point. First film since Frozen she hasn’t begged to leave. Actually, first film ever she asked to go and see.

The 2.5 year old was bored senseless as soon as his popcorn was finished.

So the target audience seems to be 5 year old girls who find anything resembling peril too much.

Jim5et on The Revenant That, good lord, is a proper movie. Yes, overlong, preposterous, ultimately probably empty and at points just a long episode of Bear’s wild weekend with Leo , but I doubt I’ll forget it it in a hurry.

HonoriaGlossop on Whiplash I really enjoyed this, despite the extended drum solos (wherein I shared the “whattheactualf…” attitude of the bass player). It was a bit on the preposterous side and the concentration on classic bebop was a bit meh; but the melodramatic climax and the aftermath were enjoyable enough for me not to care all that much.

My favourite bits: hearing Fletcher playing gentle, tinkly dinner jazz on a piano and the delightful range of bitchy muso looks on display throughout the film.

Oh yeah, and that Charlie Parker story? Not quite true.

KasperHauser on, well, a lot…

The Hunt
Basic gist of it seems to be: them four year-old girls be lyin’ bitches, yo!

Ich Seh, Ich Seh (aka Goodnight Mommy)
Along with It Follows and The Babadook, this seems to be one of the more acclaimed arty horror films of the last year or two. I was liking it for the first 30-40 minutes (looks great, good performances, tense, etc.) then it gets really quite unpleasant in the 2nd half. So it gets a thumbs down from me.

They Live
Never seen it before. Good, campy fun. And that preposterous fight scene – just put the damn glasses on!

47 Ronin
Keanu in big budget flop/epic set in Japan, which isn’t actually that bad, and you should have some fun with it, unless you’re the guy who wrote the review on imdb about how it ‘rapes Japanese culture’. Don’t be that guy. Basically: good set-pieces, dodgy script (and it doesn’t help that all the Japanese actors are forced to speak in English). But it’s not yer average big budget movie ending when (SPOILERS) the ‘happy’ ending is that the heroes are all given permission to ritually disembowel themselves en masse. If only Ocean’s Eleven had ended like that.

Just Before Dawn
Slasher from 1981, directed by Jeff Lieberman. This seems to have a reputation as an above-average video nasty but, despite the presence of George Kennedy, it’s not that great really. If you’ve seen one machete-wielding maniac in the woods movie, then you’ve seen this (especially if this is the one you’ve seen, or something).

Moontrap
Amusingly crap horror-on-the-moon movie from 1989 starring Walter Koenig and Bruce Campbell. They appear to have had a budget of about ten quid for the special effects in this. According to imdb:

A sequel, Moontrap II: The Pyramids of Mars, was planned but remained unmade until 2014 when it was announced that a sequel would, in fact, get made, under the name “Moontrap: Target Earth.”

Yeah, screw The Force Awakens, this is the sequel that everyone’s been waiting for. Right?

Insidious 3
Shit. Pointless.

"So it's like a sequel to Mouse Trap?" "Yes, but on the Moon."
“So it’s like a sequel to Mouse Trap?”
“Yes, but on the Moon.”

MarvMarsh on Avengers: Age of Ultron. Woeful. So boring and so long. Charmless, witless cgi showreel with famous people swirling round in it but not as fun as that sounds. Soooo boring. No tension whatsoever. Just watching computer generated things exploding. Making those things really big doesn’t help. This is the same Joss Whedon that made Buffy?

And you get James Spader to play a self-aware AI housed in a giant robot and you don’t have it be a bit kinky?

MrsMills on Sicario Bloomin heck this is tense. From start to finish it just doesn’t let up, it’s exhausting, but my goodness its good. Del Torro is fantastic, as is the rest of the cast, but here his brooding physical presence as well as acting style is perfect. And the score, wow. I don’t think I have felt the oppression of a score underpin the tension on screen as well as this since Jaws. I can’t help but feel that this would have made for one heck of a TV series, spun out over a few more hours this would have been epic, if hard viewing. “You are not a wolf and this is a land of wolves now” Heart in mouth, right up to the credits.

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