Category Archives: Television

America’s Next Top Model – Cycle 15

Television

by KittyKarate

Over 15 cycles since 2003 (model years are shorter than television years) Tyra Banks has continued on her quest to find America’s Next Top Model. This person has to be a triple threat – to be able walk runway, to do commercial and television and to be strong and edgy enough to do editorial photoshoots. This is a tough challenge she has set, and over the previous cycles she has produced some talented girls, those who have worked consistently as models such as Kim Stoltz, Jaslene Gonzalez, Elyse Sewell and Toccara Jones and others who have bartered their exposure into television and acting careers such as Eva Marcille (née Pigford), Yoanna House and Yaya Dacosta. Sadly the majority of the girls, even winners, slip back into their old lives when the cycle is completed.

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Game of Thrones

Television

by Yasmeen Khan

HBO’s new adaptation of George RR Martin’s novel “A Game of Thrones” begins by opening a gate onto one of the most memorable sights in the Seven Kingdoms – the Wall. We’re led into this new world by the men of the Night’s Watch. They take us through a cramped tunnel, lit only by the flames of their torches. When the panoramic view of the bright, ice-blue Wall opens up, the contrast makes its vastness all the more impressive. (I have no intention of calling this a birth metaphor, don’t worry). Later we’ll see the Wall in different weather, different moods, but for now, it’s an icy blank, a manmade glacier stretching across this new world.

The opening tells us what this story is about – the grand sweep of the landscape and the tunnels of detail human activity makes within it. The whole of the prologue is almost wordless, and almost monochrome – snow and trees, ice and black robes. Blood is black. Even the eerie blue of the wights’ eyes is a subtle contrast, rather than a glaring one. The otherworldly is part of this world. No need to draw attention to it. You’re in good hands, the opening says. Hands that have the confidence to show and not tell, that expect us to be intrigued and hooked by the setting alone. It’s a promising start. And an appropriate one. Weather is integral to the story of “A Song of Ice and Fire”, as the characters’ repetition of the words ‘Winter is coming’ will constantly remind us.

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You Were Expecting Someone Else?

Television

by Ricky Young

You know, it

If one were to believe the online comments sections of national newspapers, the return of Doctor Who in 2005 led to more raped childhoods than any other programme except Jim’ll Fix It.

‘They’re doing it all wrong!’ was the cry. Podgy men in their thirties couldn’t wait to focus their ire upon show-runner Russell T. Davies, for perceived crimes against dim memories. That post-Tom Baker Doctor Who too-frequently resorted to rote and desperate storytelling, and more often than not consisted of helmeted men in sparse white corridors talking awkwardly about global politics (‘Thanks to you, Doctor, the resistance has triumphed! Our planet is safe again! Will you stay and lead us?’ ‘No, Commander, but I think they’ll be in good hands with you.’) didn’t stop them becoming very upset that the new production team didn’t give a hoot about what they wanted.

An unashamed populist, Davies took a moribund joke of a franchise and stripped it down to basics, making the story of a battered war-casualty and his platonic love for a toothy shop-girl a nickel-plated hit for the BBC. It was far removed from the Who that was a sniggered byword for fifteen years of single men in purple waistcoats attending conventions in Wolverhampton, content to spend hours waiting for a glimpse of Sophie Aldred’s bum.

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Jamie’s Dream School

Television,

by CaulorLime

Jamie Oliver has been making crusade-docs for a while now. They always follow the same formula –

1) Jamie, with remarkable humbleness, sets himself the task of righting an enormous and complex wrong. Childhood obesity, say, or teenage unemployment. He demonstrates, fairly quickly, an understanding of the issue that might embarrass a bright eleven year old, but still reckons that he’ll have a crack at fixing it. Usually, but not always, with the application of olive oil.

2) Jamie, with (olive) oily mateyness, assures a selected group of poor/ignorant/fat/unemployed people that he, the multimillionaire who is getting paid to have this conversation, knows their pain and shares their predicament.

3) Jamie calls someone ‘brother’. This is non-negotiable. It’s written into the contract. Someone has to get called ‘brother’.

4) Jamie is faced with objections to his ideas that, even after they’ve been sympathetically edited for TV, usually appear pretty reasonable, and he does that face where he looks upset. Or, if the show is being sold to the Americans, he cries. This is everyone’s favourite bit.

5) The voiceover wonders whether Jamie can ‘turn it around’.

6) Jamie invents an utterly arbitrary benchmark by which he can decide whether his current quest has succeeded. So, if a thousand people cook a stir-fry, then American obesity is no more.

7) A thousand people cook a fucking stir fry. “One Day Like This” by Elbow plays. Jamie does that big, slightly Downsy, grin of his, and all’s right with the world.

In case I haven’t made this clear, I love Jamie Oliver’s shows. Continue reading Jamie’s Dream School →