Good evening! Welcome to the MostlyFilm liveblog of the 84th Academy Awards: the red carpet.
Mostly Film’s Oscar Livebloggers:
Tindara Sidoti-McNary is an art and film geek and fatshionista. Special interests include artist filmmakers and lipstick. She tweets as @Tindara
Concetta Sidoti is a journalist who tweets as @concettasidoti
Laura: Good evening. I’ve installed myself on the sofa with the laptop, the iPad, a bottle of cola flavoured branded soft drink and a mountain of snacks. I’m playing red carpet bingo and I’m looking out for one of each of the following:
A dress that makes the wearer look naked from a distance
A flashed nipple (male or female)
A gravitationally improbable hairstyle
A nominee being effortlessly outshone on the red carpet by their other half (Brad Pitt is the obvious candidate here, but I’m always open to surprises)
A dress that in any other context would be a wedding dress
Please shout in the comments if you spot one or more of these before I do.
Tindara: Evening all. The washing’s on, I too have snacks and caramel flavoured beverages.
Red carpet news so far is that Berenice Bejo and Milla Jovovich will both be wearing Elie Saab, I’ve seen Jovovich, a fishtail one (exaggerated) shoulder number, with a subtle white/metallic sequin sparkle.
Penelope Ann Miller is in halter neck pastel pink with subtle sparkle too. So far bang on trend, with metallic shimmer and pastels.
Concetta: I see the beautiful Berenice is rocking red hair – for a part according to @muirkate of the The Times – and green jewels with her Elie Saab. Right, can I go watch Being Human for a bit and come back when they dish out the prizes?
Tindara: Berenice Bejo in silvery embroidered beaded Elie Saab gown, she looks wonderful. Emerald and diamond earrings, nude classy make-up, hair up in a low chignon with slight movement in a quiff. Girl crush.
Concetta: Michel H and Brenice Bejo doing interviews in three languages, by the way. Classy.
Tindara: Christopher Plummer (Fassbender’s dad*) is rocking a navy velvet smoking jacket and matching bow tie. (Ed: Fassbender’s dad! I never knew that!)
Shailene Woodley looking lovely in a modest white number, sort of retro cotton lace, want a closer look.
Melissa McCarthy is wearing a nude diamante encrusted dress and Chopard jewellery. Not sure it’s the most flattering shape for her but she looks very pretty.
TINDARA: Michelle Williams in an orangey red dress with a low back a peplum and ruffles, I think there are diamante accent bows, usual cool pixie hair, very cool.
LAURA: Yes, I’m seeing a lot of pale, wishy-washy colours, so praise be to Michelle Williams, who is looking dazzling in the brightest of reds. I shall be awarding extra points to anyone dressed in a colour that my eight-year-old godson would know the name of.
Tindara: Rooney Mara! Wedding dress!
Concetta: I can’t believe “woman most likely to wear a wedding dress” has been won so early. But frankly, should’ve guessed it would be Rooney Mara. “I’m not all dark and brooding, you know. Look!”
Laura: Kelly Osbourne deftly avoids mentioning Viola Davis’s actual breasts whilst pointing out that her (stunning) green Vera Wang dress “really shows off her best assets”.
Viola Davis is also a potential contender for nipple-flasher. Keep an eye on her, chaps.
Tindara: Right, confirmation that Stacey Keibler’s dress is Marchesa. Gorgeous George is wearing Armani. Sigh… And he used to drive Tony Bennett when he was 18? Who knew!
Laura: Even dressed as the ultimate starlet, Michelle Williams still has an ineffable indie-cool style. It is partly the hair, but I think it’s mostly memories of Jen.
Tindara: Octavia Spencer is in a beige metallic draped number with a slight sparkle. Amazing underpinning. I love it. Old Hollywood style right there.
Tindara: Jean Dujardin on the red carpet. Move along George, we can’t handle that much smooth.
Glenn Close is in a deep forest green matching jacket and dress combo. Very sexy and classic, dress is fishtail and strapless.
Laura: Octavia Spencer is “so excited to be working with Diabolo”. Me, not so much.
Concetta: In actual award-related news: after much early talk about how Meryl Streep was nailed on for best actress, Viola Davis seems to have overtaken her, so we may well get a chance to see those… assets… on stage later.
Tindara: Did anyone see her? I’m sure I just heard them say she was wearing her hair natural.
Laura: It is natural. Short, but not relaxed or weaved. (Weaved?)
Laura: DICTATOR ALERT! So it looks as though Sacha Baron Cohen is allowed to mill around aimlessly on the red carpet dressed as his latest character, even if he’s not allowed inside.
Personally, I’d rather see Ali G on the red carpet. He could do Ryan Seacrest’s job, no problem.
Laura: Jennifer Lopez looking extraordinarily stunning. I suppose this isn’t newsworthy, but I feel bound to mention it all the same.
Tindara: <Hat flies off to the tune of a swanee whistle> J-Lo looks AMAZING.
Laura: NAKED FROM A DISTANCE KLAXON – Kristen Wiig! Ding ding!
Concetta: All I can see is J-Lo’s hair. And it’s not good. Bit of a bagel going on, Jen…
Just saw the dress. Hello nurse!
Tindara: Seriously, there are bees forming an arrow in the Hollywood Hills on their way to Jen.
Laura: I’m not wild about Emma Stone’s frouffy high neckline, but her hair (auburn, for those without a picture) and the colour of the dress (red) are gorgeous together. This may or may not be affected by the girl-crush I have on her.
Concetta: Oh Livia Firth, what are you wearing?
Meanwhile, Jean Dujardin (my boyfriend) is batting back the inane questions with massive charm. Bless him.
Laura: Kristen Wiig, aside from looking naked from a distance from the waist up, has an almost – dare I say it? – Bjorkish thing going on with the bottom half of her dress. It’s a daring choice all round.
(Of course, we are at an advantage compared to Kelly Osbourne and her E! co-hosts in that we can be as rude as we like about people’s outfits and nobody can see what we’re wearing (what’s that? You like my grey cord slacks? Hey, thanks!))
Tindara: Michelle Williams accessorised with a pink clutch, nice contrast.
Laura: One of the E! commentators is fifteen AT MOST, and is knowledgably informing us that Emma Stone’s dress is no good because it looks a bit like something Nicole Kidman wore once.
She’s right, it is very similar, but it looks a hundred times better on the redhead who had the courage to let her hair stay red.
Concetta: I couldn’t agree more about Nicole Kidman. When she went blonde and straight, it was like she lost her power.
Laura: Talking of red hair, where is Christina Hendricks? Has anyone spotted her yet?
Concetta: I saw her early on. Black and gold.
Tindara: Tina Fey in a very classic black strapless dress with a peplum and straight skirt. What no fishtail? The curvy look seems to be very in this year
Laura: (I feel mean towards Nicole now. She is and was very beautiful and she looks good as a blonde too. But she looked SENSATIONAL as a redhead.)
Concetta: Brad Pitt’s hair is the worst thing in the world, the worst.
Tindara: Brad Pitt, in a tux, with hair on his collar. Brad. I don’t get the Brad love.
Sandy, oh Sandy Bullock. I heart you and you’ve had too much surgery. Sigh.
Concetta: Now that is a Croydon facelift.
Laura: Oh no, Sandra Bullock looks like an alien. She used to be so cute!
Tindara: Dress is lovely though, quite thirties, sparkly embroidery at waist, drape at the back, high ponytail a bit unfortunate, though
Tindara: Natalie Portman looks lovely in classic red, literally dripping in diamonds.
Not long till the ceremony, folks!
Laura: Angelina, in her black dress and with her hair casually down, is saying: fuck you, I’m Angelina Jolie and it doesn’t matter what I wear. And she’s absolutely right.
Hilariously, Brad and Angelina’s outfits are getting vast amounts of scrutiny here on E!, despite the fact that there is almost nothing to say about either of them. Still, I have no objection to looking at lingering close-ups of Brad and Angelina.
Laura: Ryan Seacrest’s suit appears to have recovered from having Kim Jong Il’s ashes tipped over it by Sacha B-C’s dictator earlier. I expect he had a spare in the van.
Laura: BREAKING: Seacrest confirms that he had a spare jacket. They think of everything, these Hollywood stars.
Laura: And now I must head bedwards, so I can make it to work in the morning, but I leave you in the more-than capable hands of Concetta, Tindara and our long-suffering editor Jo. Have a super time and blow Jean Dujardin a kiss from me. Night night kids.
Tindara: Summing up the red carpet: if I’d made a prediction for the night it would have been metallics and pastels.
CLANG. As usual the old fail safes caramel, toffee, blush, white and silver were the winners, with the odd red and black and green thrown in for good measure. The most cool points go to Michelle Williams in her red dress with a little peplum and layered underskirt. As usual she’s ahead of the pack, adding a touch of contrast with a pink clutch.
It wasn’t my favourite though–J-Lo was just gorgeous in her twenties/thirties inspired sunray deep V-neck dress. Quite discreet for J-Lo but showed off her figure beautifully. Sublime.
Make-up was also, in keeping with the dresses, either neutral or with deep red lips. This certainly seems to be an Artist inspired early days of Hollywood moment. Let’s hope the awards go that way too.
1.40am (Ed: we’re wrapping up our coverage of the red carpet now and moving on to the ceremony. Follow us here!)
* This is a joke. As far as we know, Christopher Plummer is not Michael Fassbender’s father.